Ten Things I May Or May Not Be Doing During The Solar Eclipse

For the first time in 99 years, a total solar eclipse will travel across the United States and I just happen to be in the path of totality (POT). I’m not interested in it enough to classify myself as an umbraphile but I am interested in it enough to pay attention.

Maybe.

Totality, according to several sources where I live is supposed to be for two (2) minutes. Surely, I can pay attention for that long but that got me thinking about things I could do or possibly not do during those two minutes of total darkness.

Here are the 10 things I may or may not do during the solar eclipse:

1. Go tubing down the river that runs beside my house and hope I don’t drown.
2. Take a power nap.
3. Run to the restroom to make sure I don’t miss it. Get caught up posting on Facebook about how much time is left. And miss it.
4. If I were a man, two minutes is plenty of time to…accomplish something…make a sandwich, maybe?
5. See if I can hold my breath that long.
6. Gaze in wonder at friends and family gathered for the once-in-a-lifetime event. (Not that I’ll be able to see them.)
7. Skip the entire thing completely and go to the casino. Those slots are gonna go nuts and payoff big.
8. Remember where I put my eclipse glasses.
9. Remember to put my eclipse glasses on.
10. Gaze in wonder at the sky and know how lucky I am to be alive.

That’s what I might be doing, you probably have your own list, but hey, it’s 1:00 pm on a Monday afternoon, what else are you gonna be doing? Working? Having lunch? Having a baby?

Whatever you end up doing, just remember to breathe—two minutes in the dark is scary enough without wondering if you’re gonna pass out.